BLAME. It's one of those things that we do when we are in pain or we want someone else to be responsible for when we don't want to take accountability ourselves. We usually blame events (it was Friday the 13th - see below), others (bike manufacturer) or ourselves (I should never have let me boys race motorcycles - yes - I have had that thought).
EXAMPLE: My son was racing Arenacross. It was Friday the 13th - just before our entire world got shut down for C19. He is a competitive rider and races well. On this night, he went down in a corner and quickly got back up to maintain his position - no big deal. Soared across the table top (the jumps have names and it is exactly what it sounds like) with plenty of speed - lands - preps to go into an immediate left turn - clicks his rear brake - but nothing happens - it's gone - the rear brake is not there. This is seconds - his immediate instinct was to grab his front brake - which - YOU guessed it - caused him to involuntarily dismount head first with a few rolls off his bike.
Who is to BLAME? The rear brake is a titanium triangle that should not break off - it should be engineered to stay in place no matter what. Is it the bike manufacturer's fault? Is it my son's fault for sliding out in the corner prior to the jump? Is it the track creator's fault? Hell maybe it's Trump's fault!
The result of his dismount was a fractured scaphoid bone - the worst possible bone to break in your body due to low vascular circulation (blood flow). It has a hard time healing. He had surgery a week ago to screw the bone together. He is going to be just fine - but a lot of things that he was looking forward to had to shift and change. That's life. It happens.
Blame is a choice that doesn't give you any benefits.
Would it be nice for someone else to take accountability for what happened and foot the bill? Yes - it would. However, blame gets us nowhere. It keep us in victim mode where we lose our power. I am not willing to give my power away. I have already been down that road - but don't think that I am so sweet and innocent and never drop into that victim mode. Of course I do - I am a human being.
When we own our mistakes and deal with the consequences - we are much better human beings. And perhaps instead of asking what is wrong - we can say - everything happened just the way it was supposed to - what am I supposed to learn from this? What little nugget of goodness will this teach my son?
I am certainly grateful that life has a way of teaching me so many great lessons and I sure hope that my son is taking copious notes along the way. Our big LESSON from this one was - NO ONE IS TO BLAME - SH*T HAPPENS.
What are some things that you have blamed other people for? How can you see them as a learning opportunity? How can you approach things with curiosity - rather than judgment?
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